Whatever It Is You Need, I Pray I Am
by monalisasmadhatters
Summary: "Paris will be different," she had said as she brushed the blonde's hair out of her eyes, the ones filled with tears that had been there for days. "Paris will save us."


She blows the smoke out through her lips smoothly and watches as the gray cloud becomes entangled with the wind, twisting and turning into whimsical transparent shapes before fading out and becoming a part of the night. A part of the sky, a part of the stars, the shimmer of moon dust that reflects across the water that's been beating against the dock all night drawing her eyes in. The birds are still singing off somewhere, their hum hallelujah echoing across the ripples in the water as their melody is lost against her skin. She closes her eyes as the breeze comes back for her once more and brings along the scent of Rosemary and Iris, inhaling the taste and wondering where it's been. Maybe Rome, maybe Ireland, maybe some fascinating place she hasn't even heard of, maybe.

"Paris will be different," she had said as she brushed the blonde's hair out of her eyes, the ones filled with tears that had been there for days. "Paris will save us."

Save them from what, Santana didn't know, but she had said the words and had hoped that somehow they'd meant something. Maybe they'd been trying to save themselves, or each other, it hadn't really seemed important anymore, their shapes having blended together and become one as they haunted the dark streets at night, Santana sucking on cigarettes and Quinn slipping back champagne as they silently wandered the town. Some nights Quinn looked through the windows of the darkened shops, as if searching for something lost or something of importance, always turning back to her feet and releasing a sigh as she continued on. Maybe she'd thought she'd find herself peeking back through the whatnots and figurines of the boutiques, always met with the same empty eyes and hallow stare as she tapped the glass. Other times Santana caught her looking out over the water with a wondrous look in her eye, as if her life had run away from her and was on the other side of the bridge, or maybe dancing beneath it under the water. Sometimes Quinn would lurch forward as if to run after it, as if she could get her fingers around it and bring it back, but she'd stop herself soon after and fall silent.

"Paris," Santana would whisper between sips from the slender red bottle she gripped in her hand as a lifeline, trying her best to ignore the pain in her chest and the broken frame beside her own.

"Paris," Quinn would utter back, crossing her arms as she tried to warm herself against the autumn breeze. Winter had been just around the corner and they'd have nothing to show the snow and seasonal birds but empty, pale hands and a frame they'd broken in the process of exchanging letdowns.

"You promised!" Quinn had said as she slung the pile of clothes on the floor, her hair becoming matted against her face as it clung to tears and sweat. "You promised me, you promised me!" Santana had said nothing as Quinn chunked pieces of herself out the window, the guitar she played as she told Quinn she loved her for the first time, the book she'd received as a gift from the blonde as an anniversary gift, the dress she'd worn the first time they made love, all falling through the sky and colliding into a mess of the girl she used to be as they reached the gravel. She didn't know what she was supposed to say, what she could possibly try to as she sat back and let Quinn tear her apart, the frame one of the last things that had hit the wall before she'd crawled into the bathroom and cried herself to sleep.

She'd waited awhile before she moved, her bones having creaked as she tip toed across the dark wooden floor. She bent down and picked up what was left of the frame, pieces of glass dotted with blood from Quinn's fingers as Santana had tried to smear it away. There was a face staring back at her through the shards and for a moment she'd thought she recognized the dark skinned girl smiling happily, remembering though that she lost touch with her years ago and wondering where it all went wrong. She pressed her knees down against the floor and heard a piece of metal crunch beneath her as she came undone, salt tinted tears dropping one, two, three against the picture as they blurred out the memory she held.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to no one in particular, hoping the girl in the frame knew she had meant it this time and standing as she ran a hand down her face.

She walked towards the bathroom and gently twisted the knob, pushing the door in to find Quinn slumped over on the floor as she slept. She knelt down beside her and placed her body next to hers, intertwining their hands and pressing her forehead against the blondes as she nodded.

"I'll be different," she whispered as her fingers pushed the blonde locks behind Quinn's ear. "I'll save us." Green eyes stared back into her own and for a moment the red lips they were attached to had parted, Quinn releasing a sigh as she nodded. She slid into Santana and their bodies came together like connecting puzzle pieces, Quinn watching as the light reflected off the silver band on her finger and tugging the corners of her lips up as she whispered.

"I don't wanna go back," she whispered as her eyelashes batted against Santana's chin. "I don't wanna go home."

"You are home," Santana mumbled as she pressed her lips against Quinn's temple, moving the porcelain fingers towards her chest and pressing the tips against the thumping underneath her ribcage. "You are home."

The memory plays itself in her brain over and over again until her stomachs churning and she's leaning against the railing for support, her vision blurred by smoke and mist. The winds kicking up again and for a moment the smell of her cigarette embraces her senses, ashes and leaves the only things that come back to her now.

She looks over the railing at the water, the surface still and smooth as twinkling stars dance along it and fireflies twirl above. She wonders if Quinn ever found herself beneath it and brings her feet up to the bottom bar.

_"Paris will be different."_ One foot goes over. _"Paris will save us."_ The other joins.

She holds on to the railing that's now behind her back and looks down at the scene below, the city never having shined so brightly as it reflects off the small waves. The wind has sped up as it blows her hair across her face, no longer able to see anything around her.

_"I don't wanna go back."_ She closes her eyes as her hands let go. _"I don't wanna go home."_ Her feet slip away as the world goes black.

When she opens her eyes everything is gone, the city, the water, the birds silenced and the breeze halted, while light illuminating everything as she looks around.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she panics as she pushes herself up to stand, looking around and being met with a pair of green eyes that suddenly bring her back.

"You're home," the blonde says softly as she reaches out her hand, her ring glistening proudly as she grasps Santana's fingers. "We're home." She pulls her in close and presses her lips against Santana's cheek as she smooths out the tousled dark strands, pulling away and smiling ear to ear as she pulls her along.

"We'll be different here," she reassures her in the softest voice, Santana smiling peacefully as she follows. "We'll be saved."

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><p>I've had a few one shots just sitting in my laptop for awhile now so I thought I'd post a few just for fun. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!<p> 


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